It’s been a while since I’ve thrown some words down for you all! I have been so busy lately, I have had no time to write. Just kidding, I’m literally doing nothing with my days except apply for jobs online, binge watch Crazy Ex-Girlfriend on Netflix and watch my mom’s crazy dog, whose name is Junior Poopsy QQ. Don’t ask what his name means, because I don’t even know!
So, I’m in Arizona right now living at my mom’s house and it’s been difficult for me in some ways. While I love being closer to my mom, I find myself frustrated because I have been independent and out on my own since I was 17. I don’t like being 25 and living with my parent. When I dwell on my situation, I start to regret making the decisions I’ve made of leaving my old job and moving to a different state. I have to remind myself that my health problems are the reason I am on this adventure, and that’s a good enough reason.
You see, people with chronic illnesses feel trapped. We are succumbed to the life of illness, and we don’t know how to break it. It’s a part of our soul and all we want to do is break out and be able to do things without pain, emotionally and physically. I do my absolute best to stay positive and to strive for things that I think will make my life whole, but my fear trumps my dreams. When I dream of something, it’s immediately shot down with the fear of anxiety.
I realize this post is a little more depressing than my others, but that’s because this is the raw feeling of chronic illness sufferers. Humor only helps to an extent and this last month has been difficult more than usual.
Picking fresh Grapefruit
I’m starting over from scratch, and it’s a scary feeling but also provides a lot of hope. I truly only need my family and friends that I can count on one hand to help me through all the dark times. It’s been two months now being on a plant-based diet, and I’ve lost 16 lbs so far! I do not crave soda or candy anymore and have not had fast food, except for that one Taco Bell slip up which we do not talk about anymore! I have enjoyed creating meals too, pictured below! As always, thanks for reading and I promise my next post won’t be so depressing. Blue ain’t my color. XOXO